Throw a cell phone, find a love story

  

Today I woke up and realized I have a significant lack of life accomplishments. This comes the day before my younger cousin’s college graduation, a time full of energy and hope. Today, I am feeling disappointed with myself.  I spend some time contemplating my lack of success while fumbling frustratingly with my cell phone. Internet banking is supposed to be easy, and yet my bank has refused my check deposit for the third time! Perhaps my phone is illustrating the metaphor of my life…trying so hard to make something work that’s not working.  Is it because my technology is older?

I lose it. I envision my phone being flushed down a large toilet. I find myself hurling my phone across the street in front of the path of an oncoming car which, to my disappointment, fails to drive over my offensive phone. I confess: I am not a fan of cell phones. When I go for walks, I have to avoid being walked into by avid texters. When I wait in a car queue to turn left at a light, I prepare myself to miss the light because someone two cars ahead may be busy checking their online social life. I heard the story about the Texas man who sued his date for the price of movie tickets because she was texting during the whole movie. For some reason, people think their bright phone lights are invisible in movie theaters. Personally, I would have taken the phone and turned it off. Then again, what kind of first date is going to a movie? You don’t even get to speak!

The truth is: I was born in the wrong generation…OR I was born to parents of a few generations ago, who value co-presence: REAL communication IN person. What a concept.

I throw my phone and prove that tough cases really are tough. Darn it.

I have unsuccessfully prolonged my phone’s existence.

So much for accomplishments!

I have to teach yoga and I am overwhelmed with self-dissatisfaction. How am I going to teach people when I am this upset, I ponder.

My thoughts are interrupted by a delightful couple of advanced years who come into the yoga studio looking happily out of place in their nicely pressed outfits. Did they take a wrong turn? They are asking about the yoga and are very surprised by the heat. They seem confused by the concept of doing yoga in a hot room.  Their questions seem more a cultural study and less a personal interest in doing the yoga. I am very happy to answer all their questions. “How long have you been doing the yoga?” “15 years,” I tell them. “What, no. That’s not possible. You’re a baby!” they say. I assure them that I’m not and I have older parents. “I would’ve believed 5 years,” says the gentleman, “15? No! You are pulling my leg!” he insists.

They appreciate my slightly archaic references. The gentleman asks me if there is music in the yoga class. I tell him there is not, but sometimes I have sung in class, much to the chagrin of students as my voice is appallingly bad. I tell them about my father who lives in Pasadena and how I changed the lyrics of the Beach Boys song to “My little ol daddy from Pasadena…Go Daddy, Go Daddy, Go Daddy Go” and that my dad says I forgot to include the “they say that there’s nobody meaner than my little ol daddy from Pasadena.” They laughed.

An audience that appreciates my humor?

The gentleman and his lovely wife share with me that they’ve been married for 60 years.
“How did you meet?” I ask.

“We met at the county fair, though nobody believes it. I was holding a panda bear,” he says, “and I looked to the side of it and what do I see?”
I add, “The most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen in your life.”

He says, “You are right!” he smiles. “I’m ten years older than her.” She adds, “I was 16 at the time, and when I met him, I went home and told my mother I met the man I was going to marry.”

60 years of HAPPY marriage later, here they are…lost in a yoga studio.

 I believe they were sent to me to remind me not to get caught up in insignificant issues of life, such as cell phones. I need to be blessed for the love I have. I tell the couple, “If I am with my man in 60 years, I will be in my 90s and he will be in his 100s. That’d be lucky!”

They agree, laugh, and leave the studio.